IAR 202 - Interview

Full Name:

Norma Sarquis Thompson
Age:

43
Occupation:

Family Specialist at a middle school (the name doesn’t say much, but I am a combination between a social worker and a counselor. I also do a lot of interpreting for teachers, parents and administrators).
Where were you born?

Veracruz, Mexico
How long have you been living here?

12 years and 5 months
Why did you move here?

I was hired by an American company to come to NC to teach Spanish in middle schools.
Did anyone move here with you?

Yes, my then husband.
Do you have any family living here?

No
What were your goals/intentions/dreams when you first moved here?

I originally came with a three-year contract. My goal was to acquire some international teaching experience, which is very valued in Mexico. I figured it would improve my resume, and at the same time, my then husband would be able to learn English. Being bilingual is very important for professionals in Mexico. It can make a substantial difference in your pay rate.
What are your goals/intentions/dreams now, have they changed?

Yes, they have changed a lot! I ended up staying here (which was not my original intention) because I married a man who is native of this area. I now have a daughter and I also decided to continue my education. I am currently pursuing my master’s degree in school counseling. So my goals and dreams now include finishing my degree to help people and do meaningful work in my community, watching my daughter grow up and accomplish her dreams, and grow old together with my husband.
What is the difference in life before and after you moved here?

My life in Mexico was pretty good. I didn’t come here because I was hungry or unable to make a living there, like so many other people who come risking their lives because there isn’t anything for them there. I had my education, which allowed me to have a good job as a Training and Development manager in a five-star hotel. My then husband was an engineer who worked as a plant manager in the auto industry. Together we made a decent living, but as is usually the case, we wanted more. I wanted international experience, he wanted to learn the language, so we came thinking it would be a temporary experience, just a three-year deal. But they say that if you want to make God laugh, you tell Him your plans –ha! That couldn’t be truer for me. Everything in my life changed. I ended up getting divorced –the pressure of being in a different country, speaking a different language and without the support of any family or friends, proved to be too much for a relatively new, fragile marriage. So yes, my life changed, but for the better. There are several differences. Professionally, I took a 360-degree turn. I have a BS in Business, and also a minor in English as a Second Language teaching. I don’t do any of those things anymore. I found that my real call in life is to serve others who are less privileged than I am. I do this through my bilingual skills and hopefully, in one more year, I’ll be able to do it through my counseling skills. Personally, I now have to joy to have a child. For many years I never really wanted children. I was busy working and improving my self professionally, but now my daughter is my greatest joy. There is nothing like helping (or at least trying to help!) a little person to become a decent human being. And last but not least, I have a husband who is a real partner for life, who is supportive of all my projects and crazy ideas and who makes me laugh. Life is a lot better with him around.
What were your biggest challenges after moving here?

The biggest challenge was definitely at work. I hated the school I was assigned to. I hated the job. I hated the system, the lack of support from the administration (there were no textbooks, I didn’t even have a classroom to call my own!) I even hated the kids! They were rude, disrespectful and uninterested in foreign languages. I came from a system where the teachers were respected. Aside from my work at the hotel, I always taught English for 2 or 3 hours in the afternoon to college or high school students. I had no experience with middle school kids, and they were a royal pain in the …. !
Another challenge was to be here without knowing anybody. We didn’t have any family, any friends, nobody! So that was pretty hard. We both missed our families, friends and coworkers. The familiarity of being in your own country, speaking your own language, eating the food you grew up with, watching your favorite shows on TV, phew, I could go on and on.
How did you adapt to a different culture? Was it easy?

It wasn’t easy, but I think I have adapted pretty well. I consider myself a flexible person. I try to live in the present. What is the point of crying for what you had in the past, or wishing something else in the future? I figured I’m here, so I’m going to try to make the best of the experience. I still miss my family a lot. I don’t think that will ever change. I also miss some of the values of my culture. I think families should be close-knit. I don’t think I have that now, and I think my daughter is growing up without that… I grew up with a close sense of belonging to a big, extended family. I had a bunch of aunts, uncles, cousins that I saw if not every week, at least every other week… people here are really busy with work, and don’t see each other frequently. I love my husband’s family (it’s true Amy, I’m not just being polite), I just wished we saw each other more often and not just socially. Often times I don’t have anybody to watch my child if I need to get together with my classmates to do work, or simply if I want to go on a date with my husband. If I were in Mexico, all I’d have to do is pick up the phone and my two sisters would either come or I could drop her off at their house. If that didn’t work, I’d have several aunts or cousins to help. But then again, many women in Mexico don’t work, so they are always willing to help. Here I’m always hesitant to ask because I know people are tired after working all day and they may not feel like watching a young child.
Another challenge is the food. I’m a health nut if you wish, and it’s hard to keep my daughter away from junk food. Before she started school, I could pretty much decide what she’d eat, and that always included lots of fruits and vegetables, eggs, meats, bread, pasta, etc. She rarely had candy or sweets in general. Now that she is in school, she sees other kids eating the sugary cereals, the salty or extremely sweet snacks, and she obviously wants it. We are trying to teach her healthy habits, but it’s hard if everybody around you is giving their kids a Pepsi and a bag of chips for snack. She feels like the class weirdo because her mom sends a baggie with cheerios or apple wedges for snack. Oh well, she can see a counselor later in life to discuss her crazy mom…. Ha!